Did She Actually Hit On Me?

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Photo by Trinity Kubassek from Pexels

I Think She Likes Me, I Think…

Ladies, why is it so hard to tell if we are into each other? While there are some of us who are pretty aggressive about making it known you’re attracted to a woman, for the most part we seem to not be as assertive about making moves as our male counterparts. It can be so confusing trying to figure out whether a prospect is flirting, testing the waters, or if I mistakenly misjudged an action meant to simply be polite.

It’s so frustrating!

I’m walking through the airport and a fine-ass soft stud gives me some extra eye contact and a coy smile. She compliments me on something I’m carrying that an average woman would give zero fucks about. Is she hitting on me?

I’m sitting alone in a hotel at the bar on a business trip, and a nice looking female invites herself into my personal space for a little light conversation and drinks. My queer-dar is picking up a signal. It feels like she’s curious. Is she feeling me?

I’m in a restaurant having lunch, and the sexy lesbian server is extra nice to me. I’m getting service nobody else in the place is getting. She lingers near our table waiting on my beck and call. We make lots of eye contact. She’s super nice to me and calls me baby. Is she feeling me out?

Do You Like Me, or Nah?

Why is it so freakin hard to determine whether women are trying to hit on a gal? Why does it seem the only places women can be picked up are gay clubs or online? I don’t go to clubs, so this likely cuts my pool of prospects drastically I suppose. Can we do a little better with making our intentions known please?

Online Dating Saved My Life

I am a huge fan of online dating and hookup sites. I actually met my partner online. If it wasn’t for online searching, I would not have found my first partner, or any woman for that matter. I was forced to use online methods, because there were no women approaching me in person. Meeting a lovely fem was challenging. There is no place to practice on training wheels.

Women always cause you to question yourself, which I hate with a passion.

We sisters will come out of the closet, go back in, flirt a little, smile, then walk away leaving suitors confused. It’s a total mind fuck!

Just say I’m questioning but I’m not ready for you right now or something for God sakes

Is It Me?

Having dated men all my life, it seems men have a much easier time approaching women than women. We flirt, then change our minds. Women lead women on, then cut their necks off by ignoring them. The struggle is real! Maybe it’s because I’m a newbie. Check out my piece about New Bi-Girl problems I wrote a while ago.

The Dry Place, and My River of Life

I knew I was ready to be with a woman, but I was in a dry place. The desert place of dry bones and tumbleweeds were all I found when I decided to end my 10-year hetero marriage and begin my journey of dating women. It was a river in my desert! It was a great place for me to learn about bisexual women. I learned my feelings aren’t rare, and that I wasn’t alone. I eventually found my partner on a site called Shybi. Read more about our early girlfriend getaway adventures before we went all in.

Shybi is the largest site dedicated to new, curious, and shy bisexual women in the world. The site is pro Transwomen and Transsexuals (MtF). Shybi welcomes ALL women with open arms, regardless of how she identifies. Finally, a place for queer women to come out, ask questions, discuss sex, partners……you name it.

Dating Offline for Bisexual and Trans Women Can Really Suck

Unfortunately, I can’t say that I’ve had great public experiences testing the waters with women, especially as a mature woman. Usually the older women are, the wiser they tend to be. They aren’t into head games and are less likely to put up with bullshit.

While the Shybi site helped me meet a great partner, it wasn’t my preference for meeting a nice female to kick it with. It was used out of necessity. I would love to see what it’s like to be hit on offline

Women are so complex, sometimes unnecessarily.

Ladies, Let’s Communicate Better

Verbal and nonverbal communication is important. Let’s do better about how we communicate as suitors as well as when we are the object of someone’s desire. Communicating how you feel can be hard, but it must be done.

Communicating your true feelings is healthy. It’s a must!

We deserve authenticity. We deserve respect. A woman deserves to know upfront if you’re interested. In fact, we want to know if you’re interested. Flatter me baby!

Please don’t inflict more harm to our already delicate egos with gaslighting, mind fucks, and playing hard to get, or the old bait and switch. Nobody has time for that shit. We’re all dealing with our own baggage. Remember, it’s not all about you. There is another party involved.

Adjust Your Attitude

Source: Giphy

Lastly my sexy beauties, let’s try to adjust our attitudes enabling us to be more approachable.

Regardless of if you’re curious, looking, or are completely out of the closet seeking companionship, it’s a lot easier if we aren’t all walking around with scowls on our face, being mean, sassy, or just plain old rude.

Adjusting your lovely face, adjusting your attitude to team sexy, and having an expecting spirit will bring a new beauty (or a new booty) into your life sooner than you think.

Now, go forth and make a woman’s day! She’s waiting on a sign. Give her one.

Thank you for reading.

Marley K, Copyright 2018.

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Buy Our Human Family’s “Field Notes For Allyship, Achieving Equality Together,” the new tool for allies available at Amazon.com| I 🖤 www.ko-fi.com/marleyk

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