First, let me thank you for your comment. I appreciate it. I meet White people all the time. Almost all of them are casual encounters. I just always get the impression that’s all White people ever want from most Black people. There are no invites, there is no interest in learning about our families or history. No invites to ride on the family’s boat during the holidays. No planning outings where families get together. Nearly all of my experiences are casual.
I have invited a few White people to my home and if they don’t cancel, they’ll show up to your house expecting something unsatisfactory. Everything has to made just perfect so not make them afraid.
I definitely think fellowshipping outside of your comfort zone is a start, and food is always an ice breaker. I think it’s important for you to know and understand how others live, talk, laugh cry so that you can see that we’re human. We do appreciate the extra politeness because are mistreated everyday, somewhere by someone.
I think learning about your own biases where people of color are concerned is imperative. Then you must unlearn them. Attend classes, listen to people of color and Black people. We don’t make up our experiences just to make White people feel bad. We tell our stories to express our pain hoping it will change them. I’d love to talk more. I’m going to be doing a radio interview in a few days on one of my essays. I’ll share the details soon.
I think reading about how Black women are harmed by White women is the only way to begin to understand in order to develop real relationships. Lastly, allyship. We need people to stand up to biased White people instead of turning on us when White people do what they do when they are called out for being racist.
These are some ways to develop relationships with us. Anything else is just casual, superficial interactions.