Great essay. So basically he did what we call in the Black community code switch. He thought he was in “like company” (an all white people audience/space) and said the things you always say among yourselves — with no push back. You surprised him so he expected you to understand how it is because you too may have the “like company” conversations you and the “mixed company” conversations you (which equates to company with color mixed into it).
Good catch. Great response. And most importantly, thank you. We need more White people to call out White people on covert and subliminal racism.