Hi Dave,

I read you comment and it moved me. I am sorry about your daughter’s death. I hope that her death was in no qay as a result of her life post an assault. I used to be a director of a children’s advocacy center (CAC) and a sexual assault center. I also used to facilitate trainings on spotting and preventing child sexual abuse.

There are lots of reasons children don’t tell their parents about sexual assaults. One reason is because the predator is a relative, close friend, or person your family likes and trusts. Another reason is because kids are far smarter than we give them credit for. They weigh costs. They know you’d kill someone and go to jail. Perhaps the perp threatened them and told them they wouldn’t be believed. Lastly, sometimes parents really never plant the right seeds giving their kids the signal they can share ANYTHING with them. Especially things of a sexual nature.

Most victims of sexual assaults are assaulted multiple times in their lives (reasons vary), and most sexual predators will get away with raping/assaulting 10-15 victims in a lifetime or more. Most never get caught because we have a society that’s run by men (who are often in support of men in not believing women). They criminal justice system, the police, employers, mostly male dominated fields. Plus, their reputations precede them unfortunately. It’s why a sexual predator is President. I’m not surprised at all about the rape culture not just here, but globally.

Look at your local newspapers. Watch how reporters write about rapes. It’s intrusive and insulting. Why would a victim put herself through that? Lastly, look at your local news. How often do you see rape cases go before grand jury, go to trial and get the perp gets sentenced. Rarely. It’s a systemic issue, a cultural issue. A moral issue. More women are raped in this country than they have abortions. Look at the framers of these arguments. Who gets to decide what is more important to women. Men do.

I provided some places for you to do a little research on the prevalence of rape and child sexual abuse for you and others who may want to learn about this huge problem. It is just a starting place, but if you’re willing to read, the info is readily available for consumers.

Please take time to search these sites very well. This is news and resources we could use but it rarely gets reported. Men need to understand itself not just our imaginations.

Sexual assaults of women and children (boys and girls) are extremely prevalent here. There are lots of studies on the subject as well as resources for those living with the trauma of assaults and abuse.

Good luck and happy reading.

The National Children’s Alliance


Darkness to Light


Office of Violence Against Women


Child Sexual Abuse Statistics




National Sexual Violence Research Center


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