Hi Jamie,

I appreciate you taking the time to respond. I want to try to provide a different perspective to help you see our viewpoints.

If I were in Nigeria where there ruling classes of Nigerian people looked mostly the same and most of the people in the nation looked the same but were from different groups/classes, I would be able to say they were assholes from different classes (if classes were applicable). In America, that’s not the scenario, thus the reason for my rationale. Race is in everything here, and unless you have the skin and the experiences to say otherwise, you’re really just an observer making an observation about something you’d have no clue about.

It’s like telling someone you understand how they feel when their parents were killed in a car accident and your parents are still alive. You can’t possibly advise them on what that feels like or how to respond because you haven’t experienced it, and because the injury hasn’t happened to you personally, there isn’t any way for you to truly be able to know what they are going through unless you’ve experienced it first hand.

Explaining to me my experiences are tied to assholes and not racism is similar.

You live in London (I have never been there), not America. I can’t possibly grasp anything about what you’re saying with exception of having dealth with rude people. We both have similar experiences in this respect. After that, I can’t understand what it’s like being a person of color in London.

I wouldn’t dare try to tell someone what’s their experiences must be like or reinterpret them because I’m not in their shoes or in their skin. It would be my place to listen, watch their language, listen to their voice, watch the body language and hear what they are saying.

As far as London goes, I only know the national history from textbooks and news stories. Because I haven’t lived there I don’t know if the racism is real or imagined. What I do know is if your photo correctly reflects who you are, you’d likely get a skin pass here in the U.S. even with an accent by most Whites, even, even from the most racist ones. And with that pass, comes privileges.

While I understand there are plenty of rude people among us, there are some intentionally rude people who are rude to me because of the color of my skin. I know what that is. I am almost 50. I grew up in the deep South, worked all over the South, traveled all over the U.S., and I’ve seen the overt exit of Jim Crow. But it lives on in other ways. Minimizing my experiences are another way to excuse racism and blame the victim for speaking out.

I’m not implying that you’re doing this intentionally, but it sure seems this way.

I will take into consideration there are a huge amount of people living here with no manners. But allow me to share something with you, not all of us have the privilege of being rude. For Black men, whistling at a Black woman could get them killed back in the day. These days, there are other things we can’t do without risking our lives or our freedom. We are taught these things by our parents at an early age. Black households are forced to give their children “the talk” because of how we are treated. We must warn of the psychological games many White people play to harm us, like telling us what we experienced and how we should feel. We’re not just imagining anything. We’re just ignored and gaslighted into thinking our experiences aren’t real.

We’ve gone from Black Laws, Slave Codes, Jim Crow, and the Civil Rights act, all so that White people could literally have the privilege of treating us any old kind of way. There are so many things that people don’t understand about our circumstances and the invisible social order no one will acknowledge. I wished they’d learn about all we must navigate instead of jumping to the conclusion we could be imagining things. White privilege includes the privilge or being rude, because everyone here can’t do that. White Supremacy supports and ignores racial microaggressions. It’s been done so long it’s excused as rudeness.

Even Black people who travel abroad complain about how Blackness is treated. Anti-Blackness is real, and I can’t convince someone who hasn’t experienced it otherwise. There are too many of us telling the same stories in 2020 for us to be exaggerating. You could put millions of us in a room and we all could validate each other because we know what life is like being in this skin.

Not believing us is apart of America’s culture too.

It’s the reason there’s an Innocence Project which is working to free the thousands of Black men (and White ones) unjustly imprisoned because we believe White people over Black ones. Most were put in jail by all White juries. You’ll have to come to your own conclusions about my experiences, but you surely don’t get to imply I’m only experiencing rude White people. I’m old enough and have lived long enough to know the difference.

Perhaps you should examine your views on rudeness and privilege associated with White Supremacy. It’s not a discussion we see discussed enough by those with alternative views.

I write intelligent, unvarnished thoughts on anti-Blackness, racism, politics, Black people, and White Supremacy. White Fragility🚫| www.ko-fi.com/marleyk

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