Hi Karyn, I feel the same way you do. I also feel the same way about church. If I ever go back, it will be to an all Black congregation that’s community centered, that teaches the basics on looking out for our fellow human beings and loving each other the way Christ loves us. Since 2007 during President Obama’s run for President, I’ve seen how White people totally disconnect from their lives from the Bible when it comes to humanity. It was so weird watching them hate Obama in my face and assume because I was there I wasn’t one of “those” kinds of Blacks. They thought I believed in their type of Evangelicalism.
What they did was showed me if they hated Obama’s name and didn’t believe he was America even though his mother was a lily White woman from the Midwest, they didn’t believe I belonged among them either. I watched them complain about doing charity for poor Black people. But they loved to go on missions trips to Guatemala and Africa to take some of our old medicine and preach a gospel nobody asked them for. I saw them love the photo ops at the White nursing homes for the wealthy White residents. They never went to the poor folks’ nursing homes. I believe most White people have an internal merit system in their minds that ranks people based upon some racist belief system handed down from generation to generation. It’s unhealthy. I can’t trust any White person who doesn’t have color in his/her life because those people will hurt me.
Even churches that are multicultural are not authentic in my opinion when they head of the body is a White man or White woman because they often have biases and blind spots that make them apathetic to the plights of many of their congregants. Black churches are safe spaces for us, one of the only places we can go free of the White gaze and unrealistic expectations we can never meet. I loved the Black church, but they often are like us, always struggling. They struggle financially because we struggle financially. The love in a Black church is different. Now, we have our own little issues they probably don’t allow you to see (lol), but for the most part, they teach love and compassion. Patience and understanding. Grace and mercy….sometimes to our deteriment.
I’m thankful you and your family feel comfortable worshipping in an all Black congregation. We are need to fellowship more together. It’s the only way we learn. We (Blacks) have crossed the aisle more times than we can count to make things work for us. A Black church is one of the safest spaces for White people to experience Black people, and if you go on the right Sunday, you’ll get a banging meal from the sisters in the kitchen. While there are bad people in every group, we really try to live lives considerate of others. Black church always made me feel better than I did before I came. I hope you feel that way when you leave too.