Hi Wingfield,

I’m going to try to answer this with some examples of how I know scenarios are rudeness or racist.

One example is if you read some of the dissenting comments, look at how they are written and expressed. Most are either outright racist, trying to re-center Whiteness by questioning my experiences as if they can’t happen.

Another example is if I’m in the checkout line and the White lady in front of me is getting chatted up by the cashier. She uses cash to pay for her purchase with no problem. They complete the transaction. My turn. I get no greeting, no smile. That’s cool. I pull out my $20 bill and the cashier pulls out her little pen to mark it to check to see if it’s counterfeit. Then she holds it up to the light before putting it in the register. No have a good day when the transaction is completed. The intent was to treat me differently because I was perceived to be a threat.

I’m on the elevator with two White women, dressed professionally. One White woman exiting tells her friend to be careful going up to her floor. Why? Because I’m perceived as a threat.

I see my White neighbors standing on the curb chatting all the time. They see me coming to my car. They either ignore me or don’t wave when I wave back. Every time. They can’t wave? Why is that? Because they feel I don’t belong. I don’t know them and they won’t open the door.

At a soccer game with my son and a doctor that worked with my ex-husband (a nurse) called the only Black player on the opposing team on the field a monkey. We were the only Blacks in the bleachers. His wife turned red when we turned around to let them know we heard the hubby.

I’m shopping and being followed by a White loss prevention staffer. Just me. No White people. I know because I’ve worked in loss prevention.

When we experience racial microaggressions from elementary school, WE KNOW when someone doesn’t like us. WE KNOW when someone is trying to be racist. You know when someoneis using whatever little power they have to injure us or to be an obstscle for no other reason than hating our skins. We spend our entire lives experiencing racist microaggressions and nice/polite racism. You can put lipstick on a pig but it’s still a pig.

Does this help?

Written by

Buy Our Human Family’s “Field Notes For Allyship, Achieving Equality Together,” the new tool for allies available at Amazon.com| I 🖤 www.ko-fi.com/marleyk

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store