I agree 100%. Men are not allowed to be honest about there sexual needs, fears, and desires. All the things you described are in fact a huge reason as to why men cheat based on my experience. All the rigid expectations men must conform to leave very little for learning about their bodies. I’m not a feminist, I’m a realist. Feminism comes with labels and stereotypes that I believe do more harm than good when it comes to relating with men. Feminism also means different things for different people, so using the label could be seen as a wall to many men.
In any event, men are sexually repressed. If they say what they really want or need, women are offended or put off because we too have been taught to be sexually repressed. We’re trying to be monogamous when that’s not for everyone. We’re married, only to discover our sexual needs can’t be met. We’re hung up on race, but want to explore race in the bedroom. We’re watching porn, when porn is not how people act — it’s a performance and men expect this type of gratification and enthusiasm from women. We’re hung up on cock sizes, breast sizes, vagina feels and appearances — all superficial characteristics that have nothing to do with emotional well-being and physical satisfaction.
Men would greatly benefit from compassionate coaching. I’m not excusing or including sociopaths and sexual sadists in my assessments. Just normal men trying to get some sexual satisfaction before he dies. Great read!