I appreciate your rant and it reminded me of an experience a guy I dated from from Oregon had (He was White). We talked about race all of the time and I was so intrigued by how old he was when he saw his first Black person back home. He rubbed the guys hair and he and the young man had a really nice relationship, until the White people in the town where the lived burned the Black people’s house down and they fled. He remembered how badly the few Blacks in the town were treated.
My empathy kicked in when he shared with me how terrible his mother treated he and his brothers, and how she allowed the boyfriend to mistreat them. It really broke my heart. That’s a place where we connected, as I was a foster kid. We realized that we were more alike than we were different.
One story he told me about that was really disturbing was about when he was relocating to Florida. On his very first stop for gas in the FL panhandle (an interesting place in its own right), he encountered Black men who berated him for stopping in the Black part of town at the Black gas station. They even threatened to jump him. That incident traumatized him, and it kind of changed his thoughts on Blacks, specifically Black men. I think your point about biases are absolutely spot on. People have long-held biases against White people, and they will take any opportunity to jab them when they can. Sadly, Blacks have biases too. Not based on anything personal, just hand me down biases.
I have had experiences back home where I got treated terribly when I dined out. White waitresses seating all Blacks in one section of the restaurant, White waitresses refusing to give the same type of customer service they give to Whites. And please don’t make me go into my diatribe about Cabelo’s and the Bass Pro Shops. There are some places that just make you feel unwelcome, and it’s by design. I worked with a White racist financial aid counselor who refused to wait on Black students in her alphabet. And when she did, she was so nasty and unhelpful they complained. She kept her job and she’s been employed in the same position for over 30 years. I never knew why she didn’t like them, but she was as hillbilly as they come.
It’s very hard for the biases of others not to impact us. It’s also difficult for Whiteness I think to see how deeply its footprint is embedded throughout the world and how much harm Whiteness has done to people globally. People resent it Whiteness for a reason. For Whites here in America, they tend to connect Blackness and Black bias against Whites to slavery, but it’s so much deeper than that.
What Whites don’t realize is that racism is entrenched in every aspect of our lives. From higher grocery prices, car insurance, interest rates on home and car loans, and gas prices in poor Black neighborhoods, to over-policing Black neighborhoods to investing in drug dogs in schools instead of more guidance counselors. We pay more of our income to survive just because we’re Black. Our parents teach us this. Rappers talk about it. Studies have been done, but nothing changes. So to some extent, biases are in order.
Blacks are even fined more. Not because we do more than any other ethnic group, but because of implicit biases of police officers and the criminal justice system. We are always struggling and the systems are set up to make us pay more, work harder, fight more, die earlier, and stay behind. It’s a fact.
Whites appear to not know have no idea how good they have it, and their momentary discomfort is nothing like the discomfort felt by Black and Brown people everyday. I don’t walk around holding biases, because I realize we all need each other. But I do understand the systems aren’t fair, and the same people I need are also my oppressors. I choose to educate because I realize history has been Whitewashed and truth is for Whites is not necessarily truth for the rest of the world. Some deprogramming is in order.
We have to chop up some of these foolish biases to ignorance, but sometimes it’s much deeper. The more we know.
As far as the Chinese making the White men pay more…Let me try to provide a little cultural insight. Perhaps the Chinese woman married a White man, outside of her culture. She married him for money or because he could care for her. For these people, it’s likely the a way to punish him and the Chinese wife. She’s not punished as long as they don’t see they husband, but when he shops with her…he represents a departure from culture, and White men have a bad history of taking wives for extremely stereotypical reasons. It’s wrong, but it is what it is. Again, it’s one of those things you’d never know unless you’re non-white lol. It’s not right, but it is so.