I can attest to this. Of the numerous times I’ve been assaulted in my life, I’ve never told the men in my life for various reasons. My dad does not know. My brother doesn’t know. None of my male cousins know.
Many of male partners know, and they needed to know because my attitude was so bad towards men. I had the ability to see the bad when they couldn’t.
Men need to ralk, but so do women. I can’t say I have much hope in talking though. This has been a problem for centuries. Men have a men problem. Men are the only ones who can solve it. In some countries they take child brides. In other countries men rape infants because they believe it will cure them from AIDS. In some countries, families sell their daughters to the highest bidder (men) to sustain the rest of their families. Rich men take their fancy yachts to the coasts of Black and Brown countries like the Bahamas, Haiti, Senegal, to pay young girls to sexually serve their perverted fetishes along with their perverted friends.
And let’s not talk about human trafficking and men getting women and girls addicted to drugs and pimping them for money. Men and sex (and dehumanizing immortality) are inextricably linked forever.
Sex and men are the elephants in the room. They need to lead the conversation globally. Having raised children, I couldn’t imagine having sex with an 8, 9, or 10 year old child because she’s a virgin or whatever men get from doing that. It makes me want to vomit thinking about how men can steal a child’s innocence and ruin their lives with no regard and little if any consequence. Some people never get a fair shake because of men and their perverted fetishes.
Men need to have a broader conversation about men, their need for sex, how they go about getting it, and their lack of respect for children and women.
Write about it. Question. Have dialogue. But look at history globally and then think about how long the problem has existed. It will be a long, disappointing journey but at least you will understand why women today don’t share their shame and trauma.