I feel ya. I was just thinking the same thing about this time of the year. I hate it. I was in foster care and I have frayed family relations. All the happy cherry reasons people have this time of the year don’t transfer to me unfortunately. My childhood wasn’t filled with chestnuts, live Christmas tree smell, gifts I wanted, and celebrating with family. Our family watched how much we ate.
Lastly, I just took on an attitude that every federal holiday we celebrate on the calendar was placed there by some person who gave a darn. They are days that don’t translate to something celebratory for black and brown folks when you look at the root of them. From the formerly segregated military, to Columbus Day to Thanksgiving…all those days give me no reason to be happy. They are nothing more than traditions created for people to celebrate revisionist history. I meditate during this season. I withdraw…and hide out. I don’t want to kill anyone’s spirit because I don’t celebrate traditional holidays. And I don’t want anyone to try to convince me I need to engage in things I don’t believe in anymore.
It’s commercial. It’s tired. It’s a lie. It’s stress. It’s spending unnecessary money. At some point, you have to take inventory of life and appreciate reality, especially in light of the the times we live in. I plan to fish or hang out at the beach alone eating a gas station sub, listening to my favorite Pandora stations and drinking Red Stripe.
Nothing beats peace, and I find it alone. Enjoy your peace.