I have been skeptical to weigh in on the #metoo movement for a variety of reasons. As a former rape crisis center director and child sexual assault advocate, I saw first hand how lies can destroy, but how the PTSD dealing with sexual assault alone causes so many more issues down the road in life no matter ones age.

I also am very sarcastic about men as I’ve gotten older. Older women used to tell stories about how men acted at home vs. in the public and I just kind of watch it all unfold over my lifetime. While there are some good men who have never partaken in such behaviors, I’d dare to say there are very few. Boys start molesting and touching girls inappropriately in elementary and middle school, and often have histories of sexual abuse which often goes unexposed. Not knowing how to process what has happened to them, they then go from being victims to becoming perps. Some men are deviants for sure, but many were victims of the same types of assaults they inflict upon others. I’ve had to dig into a lot of men’s histories who have abused, and most of them were child victims who never told about their own abuse. They grow up to be old perverts because people sweep sexual assault under the rug, or choose to believe the perps over kids. Sadly, they chose to do the wrong thing instead of remembering how disgusting it made them feel when it was done to them. It’s quite complex.

Adults send the signal to young children when they don’t confront and prosecute perps that it’s okay to perp on people. Nothing happens to the perp, only the victim, there is never any justice. Hence, we have a world full of dirty, unreformed pervs! One of the greatest travesties of our society is not protecting young children and women. We look away, as if nothing ever happened expecting these people to be healthy, happy, productive people. Rarely does it work out that way.

Hurt people, hurt people. It’s an illness we need to address. We need to not look at the end result all, let’s get to that root. Who hurt these people to cause them to harm others? It’s a vicious cycle that many women have endured. No matter how popular, how beautiful, how intelligent, how wealthy, how powerful, or how holy…anyone can be a perp. Anyone!

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