I have dated a few White men (as well as Cuban/Afro-Hispanic), all older, mature and been through some shit. They were each different, and in each relationship we enjoyed learning from each other. One guy was highly educated and we would spend hours talking about everything, especially politics. The thing that stuck out to me is that they were all impressed with my vast knowledge of history and current events. I was “different.” I chose not to be offended by the comment. I took it rather that I was unique to them, in a good way. Of course, race was discussed often (as we all revolved in different worlds until we connected)…and at times topics like race would be a little rough to discuss. We got through them, and we survived.
I liked to call dating White guys cultural immersion lol. Attraction was important, but he also had to be able to hold a conversation to keep me interested. I never had any issues with skin, hair…but penises…YES! Each man watched plenty of porn apparently and thought I was accustomed to size 12inch Mandingo wanks. I had to explain a big dick doesn’t equate to a good dick, and a small dick doesn’t mean it’s a bad dick. A good dick is a good dick. That was usually the ice breaker for me. After that, the world stayed on its axis.
I can say I have only dated one guy who was a racist, but he didn’t see himself as racist. His issue was with Black men mostly, but occasionally he’d make some off the cuff remark that I found inflammatory about “Blacks.” I tried to understand why he made the assumptions/comments and repair his thinking.
He was a Fox New junkie, knew all the talking points…but sometimes I could help him see his racist ways. It was really difficult to talk to him sometimes, he made me feel like he could be the type of GOP White guy who’d screw a sister in dark, but wouldn’t dare let his buddies know he was down with Brown. In any event, the sex was good, we helped each other with lots of things, but in the end…we knew it wouldn’t work. He was from a racist part of Seattle, never exposed to Blacks until he moved to FL…and I’m from the deep South, home of Jim Crow and the Confederacy. The struggle was real. But we still keep in touch.
It was a match made in a dirty clothes laundry bin lol, but again…it was a learning experience. We all have good and bad characteristics. As with any relationship, it’s always about what one can tolerate. Race isn’t a factor until it becomes a factor. Thanks for helping the White men out who are interested in dating Black women. We need to talk more about it.