I love this piece. From my very personal experience, people who never fight are not living truth. We all get angry, dislike people’s actions, have disagreements. A relationship that doesn’t talk has secrets. I just lived this for 12 years with my now ex-spouse. Eventually, our relationship’s cracks got larger and larger until one day…………we had a big blow up and all of the BS that we hoarded over the years spilled out into one big, hurtful argument that led to me moving out. We reconciled, but like you and your partner…..living in the daylight monogamously and secretly being with others led to one of us eventually slipping up (falling for someone else), getting sloppy, and on to the courthouse for a divorce.
In my case my relationship was good because I had to go outside of it to get my needs met. It wasn’t true happiness. Now that I’m out of it, I’m happy I don’t have to pretend. I’m sure my ex is happy because he doesn’t have to pretend anymore either. It’s hard pretending, but if it works for you and you’re happy……then do what works for you. I am all for happiness as long as it doesn’t harm anyone. You two seem to have found a way to do both for the time being. Best wishes!