I realize we may have lots of different views on things like politics, women issues, family (my grands), religion, and race, but there somethings we do have in common like family addiction and caregiving, and estranged children. The human toll addiction takes on parents and their young children. All the money trying to rescue our kids. The mental and emotional torture suffered by young children of addicts is terrible. I kept my ex sister-in-law’s 3 kids (one was disabled) on and off while their mom did drugs, got her home busted and went to jail, evictions. Can’t tell you how much food I gave, meals I cooked, homework I helped with, clothes I purchased, and tears I dried. Like your baby girl, those kids prayed for their mom, loving her at best and at her worst.

But guess what? She changed. Her kids got older and basically started to tell her they wanted her out of the streets and somehow, by some miracle, she got her stuff together. She got clean up for a long period of time. Enough to get her kids out of high school. Today she works, has custody of her disabled son (he is in his 30’s now). The kids didn’t fare well though. They saw too much. Lots of things happened during their childhoods. Too much for them to overcome.

My friend. The holidays are rough for me. I can pinpoint my abnormal, unloving childhood to lots of my attitudes today. Your love will cover a multitude of your daughter’s sins in her absence. Your love, patience, and teachings will help Summer grow up to have a shot at a normal life. Summer’s love and concern for her mom has the power to bring her out of the streets.

Keep doing what you do. Keep being who you are, the healing grandpa. Keep giving the love to that grand baby every child deserves, and I pray she won’t ever have a love deficit in her life. I really pray her mom has an epiphany and leaves the streets for good leaving the taste of drugs and alcohol behind. As long as she’s alive, it’s never too late. Maybe the Lord will answer prayers and get the family reunification train rolling.

Merry Christmas to you and your family. Protecting family trumps everything, and I have the utmost respect for you Lamar. We may disagree on a lot of things, but being a top notch stand up dude you are, and I love you for it. I wish I had that kind of dad and granddaddy.

Written by

Buy Our Human Family’s “Field Notes For Allyship, Achieving Equality Together,” the new tool for allies available at Amazon.com| I 🖤 www.ko-fi.com/marleyk

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store