…am aware of my own former racism, aware of my partner’s experience of being a black man in America. The idea of burdening a child with the history of both my blood and his blood is scary — I don’t care if that makes me sound racist. It’s the truth.
I really enjoyed this essay and I appreciate your candor. The experience of the Black man is like no other in this nation as you’ve so eloquently described. I appreciate your authenticity about burdening a child with the racism that surely will come due to the history of its bloodlines.
I love and respect the fact as a socially-aware human being, you have no interest in bringing a child into the world to carry the burden of the world’s race issues. You and your partner have both experienced that. You both could write books on it. Being “other” is bad. Being labeled as Black (and in America bi-racial kids get smacked with that label) is the worst. Not wanting to have a child experience the heartache you did is the most respectful thing you can do. It’s called considerate parenting. More people should do it. People have children for selfish reasons, without considering the long-term consequences of those children.
The decision is yours, and I wish you all the best. Your decision may be considered racist, but you didn’t create race. Race was created by men and classes before you. We are just victims of the label. Would you have a kid to throw it in front of a train? Bringing a bi-racial child into the real world where race is everything is similar to throwing your kid in front of a train. Bi-racial kids struggle, and so do their parents. You understanding the risks shows you have the ability to think long-term and systemically, something most people who are considering kids can’t do.
Your “wokeness” is the most beautiful thing about this essay.