It’s okay L. When you don’t know, you don’t know. When you know better, hopefully you’ll do better.
It’s infuriating when a non-party to a racial incident tells you what you felt, saw, or perceived was something else, when we have our instincts and our own perceptions. Racist incidents have nothing to do with the perpetrator’s intentions. They have everything to do with perceptions.
Some White people are in fact racist. As a matter of fact, a lot of White people are, they just don’t know it. Others do racist things because they are unaware. Bringing awareness is half the battle. All these people can’t be wrong.
Also, keep in mind there are some Blacks among us who are perfectly fine with White people being racist because of the personal benefits they receive from ignoring, tolerating or excusing the racism of White people. They should never be used as the example of how Blacks should think or feel. I wrote a piece about gatekeeping Black people and demonstrated the difference between the house negro and the field negro. There is a reason for the alignment and acceptance of White ideologies, and it always has to do with getting White approval, comfort, and some financial reward that comes with White acceptance.
Listen to the injured individual. They are a victim. You’re telling a victim they weren’t hurt/harmed because you can’t see the injury.
It’s the same thing that happens to children who are sexually abused because there isn’t any proof (i.e. other than a description of a forced oral sex, there is no proof). Just because you didn’t see the child being forced to perform oral sex on the adult, doesn’t mean it did not happen. You are denying justice with your disbelief, supporting the perpetrator instead of the victim. Believe victims even when you can’t imagine it. Believe them.
Thank you for sharing your experience. You’re teaching others. ❤