It's the perfect analogy. How much do I need to do to be accepted by you is a real thing? People fail to acknowledge how their upbringing influences their choices for style, friends, culture preferences, or engaging with different people.

Black people are the only people afraid to acknowledge they assimilate and shun their Blackness. Additionally, White people make us feel ashamed for not assimilating and shunning our culture. It puts all Black people on the defensive. It's so complicated.