My dad is experiencing what you and your brother are with the sibling, the will etc. It’s quite interesting to see how some siblings vilify sibling executors of estates. My aunts have written the judge about my dad, made up lies, been tried to go into the home and steal from the house, etc. She literally had nothing of value except the things in her home, yet my aunts and uncles are going around and around about stuff. They haven’t spoken since my grandma died. She created the monsters that live on.
I don’t want anything my mother has. I’m sure my sister will act just like your sister is acting once my mom passes. I’m not looking forward to any of it.
You should never feel any shame for not being sad or grieved when evil dies. I released myself long ago to have the feelings I have. Feeling relief when a person dies who treated you poorly, especially parents, is natural and healthy. No one can tell us how to feel about your tormentor, because they didn’t live through the abuse they way we have. They don’t have the memories, or the scars.
Asking you to feel sad for the person who abused you is asking you to consider their feelings and their being before your own. Excusing and ignoring their behavior is validating it. We have enough evil, narcissistic people today roaming the earth because we ignore their behavior and pretend they don’t exist. I’m not pretending or excusing their evil. I chose to shine a light on it.
Love yourself more. Always love you more.
I hope you and your brother are able to find some peace with the state of your family. Always seek peace. Always. Evil never takes a day off from work. Find solitude and hold onto it.