My heart goes out to women like you who have to work in stubborn pockets of people who refuse to change. I don’t really know what to say except you must find ways to work within the confines that you have. If you can’t convince White people in your circles, create new ones. Find anti-racism groups to lend your gifts to. Become a keyboard warrior and write about White stubbornness, racism, and tell stories about racist people you know (anonymously and coded of course). Share the things that White people do to harm non-White people.
Advocate for communities of color. They need all the White faces and voices they can get in their movements. Speak out against racist school boards, fight to get more books for children of color in schools. Check out racist policies detrimental to communities of color, speak out. Vote like a Black person (lol). You must do what you can to save the world, in the ways you can. It’s kind of like being in a gang, but you don’t engage in the gang activity. Leave the gang, and create your own tribe. Create a meetup group for White allies and brainstorm ways to do antiracism work.
I know it’s hard, but quitting is not an option.