Oh my goodness as I read your response I had tears rolling from my eyes. I have been through some of the same things. How is it that we can care so much, love so hard, give so much of our time to little children who grow up to become ungrateful, unappreciative, disrespectful human beings to the people who give them life. I’ve said so many times the world does not respect the role of motherhood enough, and we surely don’t ever get back what we deserve for our invaluable resources of mothering.
My heart goes out to you, as you go through your illness alone. I often wonder what will happen to me as I age, because kids today are so self-centered technology driven, good times and friend focused at the expense of their aging parents. Like you, I’m nearing 50 and I am shifting to giving to those who give to me, sharing with those who give to me, and loving those who love me in return. One day, our children may realize all the sacrifices we made for them, but some likely will not.
I wish the best as your struggle alone with your health. What a sad commentary about the state of our youth today. I hope you are able to find peace in all that you’ve done to aid your children in becoming adults. Please find friends who can love you back to life. Cultivate relationships with people who also cultivate into you. And lastly, spend time with people who want to spend time with you. Kids make time to travel and do everything they believe is important (i.e text friends, play video games, call and ask for our money and help, travel to places for fun), but often believe we don’t need to see them, and we don’t need anything.
We are supposed to be this endless pool of resources for them to exploit. Thank you for sharing your experience here. I like to say that I’m not giving up…. I’m instead choosing to preserve my life. I we don’t care about ourselves, no one else will. That’s for sure. Take care.