Oh my heart goes out to you. Then, you get the honor of being labeled a “bitch” or “always fussing” for things that should be common sense, things that decent people do as guests or residents in a home.
Hats off to you. I recommend using the Venus and Serena method when dealing with your stepson, because at this age he is who he is going to be without serious parental intervention. You are the outsider and you don’t know anything of course (lol).
You’re approach is spot on. Look at the situation like you’re at a tennis match when your parenting and preparation for the real world is shunned. View the entire situation as if the parents are hitting the ball (which happens to be your stepson) from left to right in a tennis match. Sit silently, and just watch. The result of poor parenting shall be revealed shortly. It usually manifests when the stepson isn’t welcomed any place because the world doesn’t give a crap about the entitlement and passes he received in the comfort of his parents’ homes.
Sadly, he’ll be tossed between his mom’s house or your home as a new adult burden which will surely test your marriage.
Gird your loins. Spoken from experience.
Once an enabling parent, always an enabling parent. I hope your marriage will be able to survive it. Mines did not. Most people hate to hear the truth about their children from step parents. Folks tend to be so close they can’t see the flawed little monsters they’ve created until it’s too late. Then saying I told you so creates even more tension. There are no winners here.
Again, spoken from experience!
Thanks so much for reading and your feedback. I sincerely hope you’re able to find some peace with your stepson’s future.