Sometimes White people need to be silent, reflect, re-read, ask for clarity if you don’t understand, and stop writing in code that you want us to be nice to you even when we tell you explicitly what’s happening from our point of view. Read the comments, gain more insight, be more thoughtful. And when all else fails, be silent. Wait for the right moment, be thoughtful with your questions. If you’re serious, we know.
If you’re bitching, we know that too. We speak code too.
If you feel the way you do, you’re probably not here to be an ally which is a problem (for you). With wisdom comes revelation. I said some of us weren’t going to be nice. I explained why. I said we are going to be respectful (and direct). If you took any of that to mean you are unable to engage with Blacks and POC, then you probably shouldn’t. You’re not ready for real conversations. There are many doors and avenues, plenty of resources and tools to guide you too. It’s not up to us to make a new road for you, one that makes you comfortable. Something you’ll just have to figure out for yourself.