Thank you so much for taking the time to read and share this piece. I find it very disheartening that women cannot share their personal views on their decision not to marry, birth children, and grand parenting if they do not align with societies traditionalists/family values views. Some people discover after raising a family it really wasn’t all it was cracked up to be, and in that wisdom they decide to use the rest of their quality years for themselves and grandparent at their leisure.
I don’t fee there is anything wrong with not being tied to your children’s children, and I think we women do our children a disservice by being less than forthcoming about the realities and burdens of child rearing. We give a lot and get very little in return. We’re asked to do more and more as if our time is not precious or that we do not wish to have our own time to ourselves more. Society tries to make us feel guilty if we aren’t giving our all to others until we close our eyes. It’s unfair and I do not subscribe to it.
There are plenty of ways to be an involved grandparent from a distance and at your own leisure. Each unreliable grandmother must create her own way/style of grandparenting, lay the foundation (early and often), and then learn how to enjoy her own life without regrets. We women/mothers/grandmothers can buy a lot of things, but time is not one of them.
We need to practice preserving ourselves in our golden years.