Thank you so much for your comment. I bet you see frayed parent-child relationships all the time. We need a manual for these types of children, and a parachute inside so that we can abort at sometime to save ourselves. I go back from time to time to lend a hand, visit, and say I love him but I wish he’d change because I don’t want my child to think he isn’t loved, but I can’t take care of another adult. It’s taxing to my health mentally, physically, and emotionally. I’m sorry you had to part ways from your mother, but at least your wife was there to offer some support for you.
Sometimes in life, our immediate family members are more like friends, and we need to cut them off in the same way we do acquaintances and other friends. I don’t have a relationship with my mother because of mental illness and I feel good about it. I’ve done mental gymnastics all my life trying to learn to deal with her and please her. She can’t be saved, so I cut her off. I don’t want to be around anyone who doesn’t make me happy and build me up, especially if they are family. I’m sure you know this feeling.
I think my son is finally learning, but he’s almost 30. My dad says as long as a person is alive, they can change. I’m waiting for the change. Thank you for the nuggets of wisdom and sharing your personal story. Being the responsible one is a real burden most times, but it’s the right thing to do.