Thank you so much for your thoughtful response. There are so many nuggets in this. For the record I wrote this for the Black community because we ignored the pain and trauma of Black girls for our pleasure (feel good music). I will admit I loved R. Kelly’s music. I love music and his music was youthful (so was I at the time I discovered him). But after the first allegation and trial, watching people rush to buy a pee tape of child being abused, I was done. It showed me how little we Blacks value one another and how low the bar is set.

No one is coming to save black and brown girls. Not even our own people. I do realize this is a curse among all cultures, but it seems Black and Brown cultures took a page from colonialism by learning to devalue women of color. I have known a few older Greek women so I have heard a few tales about how the men treated/mistreated them. As you said, women and girls are valued less than men and boys.

I see the same trend in nearly every African and Brown culture on earth. It’s not just Black women made to wear the sins of evil men. It’s all women. The difference is a White woman’s currency (and those passing as White) is higher. The rest of us are mostly ignored by women, especially White women, police, our communities, and law. I don’t know if you realiize this, but even the face of child sexual assault and rape crisis centers are predominantly White, furthering our issues.

We people of color aren’t getting the training needed to understand the signs of child sexual abuse is because the leaders of children’s advocacy centers (CAC) and rape crisis centers are White women. It’s really a conflict of interest in my opinion due to the biases you noted you discovered. We aren’t engaged properly. The boards and leadership don’t reflect the victimization demographics, and no one cares.

It’s a lose-lose for us, but I’m inspired by your revelation. The most important thing that can happen after the documentary is we all recognize our blind spots, we learn to stop assuming some of us are okay because society forces us to be okay, and we treat all trauma and abusers the same regardless of their socioeconomic status. Once this kind of trauma and humiliation happens to you you’re never the same. We need to make sure no girl is ever subjected to the polished monsters like R. Kelly ever again.

It’s It’s everyone’s fight as you noted. Recognizing blindspots is half the battle.

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