Thanks for checking in Tre! This is the kind of reality check people need. We’re never going back to the way things were. Partly because it’s the way the powers that be want it, and partly because we’ve been living recklessly for far too long anyway.

I’m watching the movie Contagion today and seeing the similarities of what’s happening today. I believe it’s a seed planted to make this type of governmental control acceptable. It also is meant to help us become accustomed to contagions which are inevitable.

I can’t imagine what it’s like going to work everyday knowing you work in a setting where you have the highest possibility of exposure, but I know what your mom feels like because I’m a mother. We NEVER stop worrying about our children as long as we are of sound mind. It’s extremely important to maintain contact with mom though it may seem like one more burden to you. I can’t tell you how many sleepless nights I’ve had worrying about my children, whether they’ve been exposed, have they come in contact with someone who was exposed or if they are surrounded by friends who are careless/wreckless. Our babies are our babies lol.

It’s extremely stressful not being able to see loved ones and friends. It’s also heartbreaking to be forced to isolate yourself from loved ones and friends because you care about the well-being of others. You’re selfless enough to understand the risks of this communicable diseases, so you sacrifice physical companionship and connection to save others. You’re a good woman Tre. A mighty good woman.

I’m thankful my partner and I get a long really well most days so being with her during this pandemic makes things much easier, but most days I crave to be alone. I want to consume all the books I can read non-stop, news, etc. without distraction or competing interests. I would love to just have the solitude to think and not talk. Somedays I don’t want anyone to ask me for anything. I only want these things because I don’t have them now lol.

I’ve learned that people (myself included) always crave what they don’t have, and this pandemic is no exception to the rule. I want what I cannot have, but if I didn’t have it, I’d be longing for what I have right now — a struggle partner. I’m learning to appreciate where I am right now, for it is what it is and it is right. Sometimes I have to check myself to let myself know I’m in the trenches with the right person.

If I were alone, I’d be dying to have companionship. Now I’m in a relationship, I’m dying to have alone time. Most people in a long term relationship would likely say they experience the same rollercoaster of emotions. We long for what we don’t have, things we think we want. When we have them, the grass isn’t always greener. So, as stressed as I am, I’m trying to be comfortable in this place.

I realize my gift is helping, and I’m walking in my calling. I’m having to try to work on myself during this time. We must cherish everyday, because we don’t know when a number may be called. Please take care, stay connected with family(especially mom), and by all means stay fearful. The moment we stop being afraid is the moment we start having problems. It’s when we get ourselves into trouble.

Love ya Sis, stay strong and thanks for checking in. I enjoyed seeing the babies, they are the future we must strive to preserve, and we can’t do that if we aren’t here. Take care and thank you for putting your life and health on the line to save others. We don’t give essential workers enough credit (or pay) for the hazards they are enduring.

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