That is so terrible, but I completely understand. If you’re (not you, but the people you describe) ashamed, why doesn’t that shame drive their behavior to change? In any event, it’s makes sense but it’s not logical. It’s also narcissistic. People who fail to take responsibility for their actions, especially when the results of their actions have harmed and killed people, have some sort of personality disorder. There is something wrong with that line of thinking.