THIS!!! First of all, thank you so much for sharing your story. It’s painful to read, and I hope you’re able to one day find joy in all of your beautiful being.
Secondly, I am so happy you said what I have been thinking for months about how gay men have chips on their shoulders when it comes to feminine women. I’ve been called a fish, and all kinds of derogatory names by men who I assume wished they were women, as if being a woman is some damned prize. Feminine women are seen as threats, when we aren’t a threat to gay men at all.
Who wants to be a women…to be judged for how we look, every single part of our bodies examined for flaws or perfection? We’re judged for having love handles and back fat, the inconsistencies in our vaginas, boob sizes, skin color, skin type, demeanor etc. Women always chasing the unattainable and the superficial seeking approval from others, especially men. Meanwhile we’re rotting inside. Men are judging us, other women are judging us, and then within our small LGBTQ family, we judge and criticize each other. It’s like being in a never ending beauty contest with unrealistic and unachievable goals!
Why would anyone want periods? Endometriosis? Natural child birth with piss, shit, and sac fluids running from your ass and crotch just to have a baby? Who would want period cramps, hot flashes, acne, hysterectomies? Why would any man want to worry about hair, nails, and having closets full of clothing and shoes to make sure we “look good” for men? Who wants to be constantly compared (and often traded) because something about you isn’t up to par? The trans community (with no disrespect intended) get to enjoy the beauty without all our pains. They are usually so embedded in their own journeys of transforming, they don’t even realize what they are signing up for. We get no love from either side of the LGTBQ spectrum, and often times I feel like I don’t fit into the community.
Gay men have it so easy in my opinion. I don’t understand why ANYONE would want to be a woman. I will never understand why gay men hate us for being. I will never understand the failure of our community to embrace, respect AND protect us.
The LGBTQ community indeed has a violence against women problem that’s overshadowed by violence against other subgroups, and I wish the men would speak on it more. Without a woman, none of us would even be here! We are all important, and we should be valued.
I had a gay male friend tell me once if it’s not a stag, it’s gotta be a hag (meaning gay women need to be butch or their not accepted). How can yo laugh and have joy in a community that is so bigoted for reasons that have nothing to do with our being. There is an issue for sure. The voices of women are missing, because we’ve been silenced. There are bullies in our communities, both male and female. Let’s have a campaign for THAT!