This is a very interesting set of experiences you detail. Thanks so much for sharing. The conclusions you came to are the same ones I came to as well. Congrats on having the emotional intelligence at such an early age to know something amuck in America wasn’t quite right.
I know a lot of men who have said having a White woman moved them up in the world. That was the big thing in the 60s and 70s which is why many actors, musicians, and civil rights leaders had White women as their wives but professed love for Black people. I’ll never forget a piece I read about Quincy Jones said almost the exact same thing about being with a White woman helped their careers. Internalized racism is a huge issue. One of my sons has it despite being raised by strong Black women. He developed this racism from living in a white world and being around white males in middle and high school. Having a white girl was seen as some sort of prize as if like you’ve somehow arrived.
Black and Brown people will need to do their own work to decolonize their minds and work through the Black community's internalized racism. It means admitting why you fight harder protecting people who really need no protection in the equation. I’m never understanding how you come from two Black people, but hate Black people. That’s some deep psychological bs folks need to go sit on someone’s couch about. Likewise, I will never understand how a biracial person will attempt to do all lives matter with Black folks because they call out racism or how it is they don’t understand the difference between racism and prejudice.
Even if we’re wrong in our prejudices (which I happen to think many are legitimate prejudices), we can never be supremacist anything.
Most importantly, there are a lot of people putting out stuff to make money on the subject of racism which does not necessarily get to the crux of the matter. You’ll have to sift through the noise and understand talking about Black people is profitable…we rarely benefit or move forward from these discussions. A lot of Black people have become the White people telling us how bad we Black folks are. When you start seeing the experts are not clear, there is a reason. Thanks for sharing your city experiences.
I grew up in the South and was always interested in how segregated NY was although it’s considered a melting pot. Your views on colorism are very interesting. I hope you write more about them. For me, it’s a fine line. Calling out intra-group colorism and racism is a touchy subject, but it’s overdue in my view, especially racism within the Hispanic/Latino and Asian communities.