This situation is always hurtful to hear about. I always ask the question of why was the family there in the first place? Were they too poor? Was it exposure to culture by parents? I’m not making excuses, just wondering why if things were so bad why her parents opted to stay in the community.
I find it odd she’s angry only at the Black folks that caused the injury, and not the parents/caretakers that chose to live in the place that led to her abuses. Most Black people don’t want to even live in their hostile commun ties either, they are just stuck. It is a vicious cycle. I don’t discount her scars, I just question her anger.
I live in an upper middle class area in SoFlo, where White, Jewish, and Latin kids are always picking on my partner’s Black middle and high school aged kids, especially her 12 yo son. One White kid started in 5th grade by telling her son what he says doesn’t matter because he is Black. The white kids laughed. The Black kid in the group was silent. Some kids are undiagnosed sociopaths. We need to equip our kids to deal with them. They are everywhere.
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter where you live or what you do, you can’t stop racism. It starts at home and if parents aren’t leading by example and raising racist, inhumane people, well we get what we get. I think you did the best you could, but I think she wanted you to touch on racist behaviors at your White privilege speaking engagement. Perhaps clearly defining the differences before going in on the folks “may" help. Many White people are so ignorant and fragile when it comes to things of race and privilege they miss the lessons. For some folks, they just want to make their point, and they don’t care about yours.
You can’t please all the people all the time. You are nobody’s mama🤣. Give what you got and keep moving.