This was a very timely piece. I am your age, and so are a lot of my friends. Many of us are divorced and a few have never been married. Dating at mid-life really has its challenges. I have dated a nice young man almost 20 years younger than me (which I quickly discontinued as I felt the relationship becoming like a husband/wife or mother/son type of situation) and he began to be needy acting more like a child with a older adult. I’ve dated guys my age and they act like teenagers.
At this phase in life I think we know what we want. We just have to continue to look for what it is that we value and need. I do think investing too much into children is detrimental to you for once the nest is empty. We as moms give so much to them with no after-thoughts of what we will do once the kids are gone. They will start their new lives, and we women/moms are lost. Find yourself first, and seek companionship if that is what you desire. There are many men that desire true companionship (long-term). Online is not the way to go though. You seem like a pretty deep person, so you need to find someone similar to you who can entice your mind.
Lastly as one of the other readers noted, looks do matter. Get a makeover. Color your hair/roots. Spruce up your wardrobe. Buy new shoes. Put on some make up. Men are so simple, pretty superficial (no harm to men). Looks are everything to them. If you want to engage men, you need to give them something to turn their heads, so you can use your beautiful mind to further engage/attract them. Even an old man looks at a beautiful, vibrant, confident woman. If you’re confident and feel beautiful, you’ll exude it. It’s contagious. Good luck on finding someone. You are not alone. I thank you for the courage to talk about companionship, sexuality, and dating at this age. I am there!