We all have a little devil on our shoulders from time to time lol. My heart really goes out to you. You’re a sensitive kind man. I can’t tell you how many nights I have awakened because I knew something was going to happen to my son before I got the call. It’s a blessing and a curse to have such a gift. I really hope your spirit is wrong this time. I’m going to say a little prayer for your family, especially that sweet grand baby. Bless you my friend. You’re an awesome grandpa! I hope you find peace someday. I hope you find your oldest child more though. You don’t have to be strong. Just take it one day at a time, and remember Summer and be strong for your wife. When it hits her, it’s really going to hit her.