What troubles me about this is not the party culture of private schools, not the serene conscience that results from a life of privilege (no matter in what direction the moral center is tuned), not even the things that happen to women at parties and other places populated with arrogant white men. Those things do not trouble me because I know them, have known them, swim in them like water.
What troubles me is that there is absolutely no law enforcement policing or enforcement of laws pertaining to underage drinking, sexual assault, driving while intoxicated…but the police harass the hell out of poor Black and Brown young men in their communities, in school, or other public space. It’s unbelievable to say the least!
We can’t walk around a store, or can’t drive with our friends sober as teens. Our young men can’t walk down the street sober and laughing giving the appearance of having a good time without being stopped, frisked, question, and tormented. Black and brown kids in Black and Brown communities are over-policed, and the data from over policing these communities year after year is used to determine the people (especially Black and Borwn kids) in need of “over” policing. It’s mind boggling. It angers me, and it’s so fuckin unfair!
Some kids, in particular these rich White males you describe, get the privilege of getting pissy drunk (becoming adult functional alcoholics), getting high, experiment with sex, and ruin lives. It’s a right. Another entitlement to being born White and male.
Meanwhile, I have to monitor how my sons are treated at school by teachers to make sure White teachers of privilege aren’t ever so gently nudging my boys into the school to prison pipeline. I must teach my sons they aren’t equal, and give them “the talk” about how to act and speak when stopped by White police officers. I had to teach my sons early about consent, the age of consent, and not getting caught up in this fucked up criminal justice system we have! I had to make sure they are being decent human beings, because White people can’t seem to tell when our kids are having fun, hell they can’t tell our sons are teens.
I had to teach my sons, even when in college how while hanging with friends he will still be harassed by the police and highway patrolmen. And my Black sons were harassed, a lot. For no reason at all. Just breathing.
I had to do all of this to keep them alive. I had to teach my sons these ugly truths about the nation’s injustice systems.
There are no words to describe how terrible your confirmations and validations are for parents of color. And yet you write about it as if there are a plethora of people who aren’t aware this crap goes on.
Rich, white kids get to break all of the rules to go on and become rule breakers. Black and Brown kids get the results of the unchecked power and privilege. Don’t get me wrong, men in all cultures have similar issues, but I just can’t believe this open secret of a toxic teenage culture…but no remedies for it. Not by parents, not by these communities, not by schools, and not by the “reformed” adults who grew up in these environments and would like to raise their children differently. I just can’t!
My kids got cops D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) while rich preppy kids got nothing…..clearly law enforcement’s (made up of mostly White men) priorities are misplaced!
I keep hearing about White female victimization, but I have yet to hear anyone discuss the differences in community policing here…these boys are pervs, sociopaths, and serial sex offenders with no criminal record, no oversight, and freedom. Black and Brown boys can’t go to Walgreens. They can’t play with fake guns in a park. They can’t even walk down a street or drive in a car being a public safety concern!
I don’t mean to take away from the victimization that happens, but I can’t help but be angry that these are the same young men who grow up to be old men who make decisions about how my children and grandchildren are policed from crimes they “might” commit.
God help us!