Yes I have. It’s draining. I’m a social drinker. The guy I dated drank so much he would slur his words, want to be out with friends instead of coming home. His friends were all drunks too. Eventually, a few of them died really early from not taking care of themselves. We broke up, but after like 5 years. During the five years, we fought, broke up-got back together again, he cheated on me NUMEROUS times, and loved being out at any event where alcohol could be over consumed. His family had an addiction problem, but at the time I was too young to understand the dynamics of addiction. Addiction runs in my family. It skipped a generation (me and my brother), but my half-brother has a drinking problem, and my son (he’s 29) is an addict. The addiction gene is a mother.

If you see the signs, and your gut is telling you to move on…do it. You won’t win. Addiction destroys individuals and everyone who tries to love them. People have to want to do the work to fix themselves. The only thing you can do is support them when they finally make the decision. If you’re talking and not getting anywhere at your age, you won’t be getting anywhere anytime soon! My dad lost everything he had to addiction (his business, his tow trucks, his license, his good reputation in the community). It took him years to get himself together. But not before he abused me, my stepmom, and others. Wish her well, pray for her recovery, offer her some resources for help, and move on. Doing anything otherwise is asking for your life, your needs, and your feelings to be forgotten. You’ll spend the rest of your days cleaning up her mess (literally and figuratively). Nothing good comes from substance abuse. Ever. Best wishes regardless of the decision you make.

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