You are not alone my friend. I send you big hugs. It’s very difficult. I met a woman this summer who is a retired prosecutor and her only child basically terrorizes her to the point she has sought counseling. She has no clue what happened to him. There are many parents suffering in silence, internalizing the pain inflicted upon us by our “wayward” child. Things my sons says to me, about me, and in front of me I would NEVER say to any adult. It’s true the blood/genetics (nature) is more powerful than any nurturing and love even the strongest parent could provide their child.
Jennifer Henriquez, you are not alone. May you find the peace you are seeking, and the peace you deserve.