Your grandfather must have been my father…if my father wasn’t alive, I’d swear this man you describe was him. I was just thinking about this same thing today. My father is alive, but the holidays are coming. A dreadful time in my life from Novemeber 1-January. Abuse is a bitch! I’m almost 50, and I have no family I can fellowship with, because my father’s acholism, abuse and mental illness still live on. People have a way of interpreting their abuse (and yours) differently than you view it. It makes me angry. I can’t deal with it.
The tell me I hold grudges. It’s not a grude, it’s a protective measure to ensure you aren’t hurt by your abusers…and their allies. I’m sorry you have had this experience, but there are many of us who have experienced the same. Thank you for so clearly and concisely putting into words the remnants of familial abuse.