Your story reminds me of my friends' kids. They have no Black friends. Really no friends at all. They have very racist stereotypes about White people. There mom has raised them in Suburbia where they are always the only or one of the only Black kids.
I find myself being irritated with them frequently because they are so ignorant of their own culture, intolerant of Blackness (except the culturally appropriated things White people borrow like hip hop, clothing, and slang), disrespectful (in ways that only White kids are) also afraid to be in spaces where lots of Black folks gather. They have no idea they are Black. I really feel sorry for them, especially in today’s civil war like hostile environment.
Assimilation is terrible in that it causes people to forsake their own culture to take up someone else’s. It’s good you understand you will need to unlearn some stuff. It’s a start.
I try to talk to them about the real world and Black things, but they seem to think Whiteness is rightness. I also see a correlation between social isolation, a lack of identity and depression in the high school child.
I am thankful I had the opportunity to experience Blackness all of my life. When the world shows me how much they hate me, there’s nothing like going to a Black church, a Black family gathering, a Black music festival, or hanging with my Black friends…people who understand our struggles. I’ve teetered on the other side with multiculturalism. It has a place. But there is nothing like fellowship with my own people.
Love your people. Love your culture. Learn about your people and embrace Blackness. No one else gives up their culture except Black people (African-Americans). Immigrants never forsake their own cultures when they come to America. They speak their native tongues. They eat their native foods. They worship their religions together. They support their community businesses. They live in communities with their own folks. Sometimes they even create schools and businesses so they can recycle dollars and educate their own. They aren’t ashamed of who they are. They embrace their culture and identities.
You need to do the same!
Keep working at this thing brother. We ain’t perfect, but we are all we got! Let’s love one another. There are enough folks who hate already.